Ziva In Wonderland
by Ziva Islesxx
Summary: A messed up two shot i wrote where Ziva has some weird hallucinations all because of cocaine. Or was some of it real?
1. Chapter 1

**~FOR THE RECORD I WROTE THIS AGES AGO! Don't ask, it's came to that time of night when I write any random rubbish that comes to me. Rated M cause of sex, swearing and smoking. And a bit of stripping without giving anything away. Virtually no plot, but if you like it, I may make it into a full fic rather than just a one shot~**

"Ari I'm sorry," Ziva said as she jolted awake. She was in her apartment when she heard noises in another room. She firmly grasped the gun that she kept under her pillow and walked through her flat in her pyjamas. She was in the hallway when she heard noises coming from the kitchen. Sexual noises coming from the kitchen. _Who the hell is in my kitchen? _She thought. She paused outside the door as she heard someone speak that sounded vaguely familiar…

Without any more hesitation she burst through the door and pointed the gun at the couple on top of the kitchen counter. She could not believe her eyes when she saw who stood before her.

"Ari?" she questioned as she stared her brother in the face.

"Oh, hello Ziva…" was his reply.

"I…I must be dreaming," she assured herself.

"No. You are not sister."

"Then who is…" she cut herself off as his brunette partner spun her head round.

"Oh, hi…" she said as she looked at Ziva.

"Hi…" she said back confused.

"Oh of course, you have not met!" Ari said looking at the girls, "Honey, this is Ziva, my half-sister. Ziva, this is Kate, Kate Todd. Soon to be Kate Haswari."

"You took my place at NCIS?" she asked looking at the Israeli agent of whom she had never met.

"Yes…."

"Neat!" she said, "Ok, c'mon Ari, give Katy some suga'!" she said as their tongues met on top of the kitchen counter. Ziva, not quite awoken from her slumber, slowly backed out of the kitchen, trying to make sense of what she had just seen.

When she got out of the doorframe, she turned around only to find something stranger than what she had seen before.

In front of her was a floating purple elephant smoking what smelled to her like cocaine. He took a deep breath of the drug in and blew it back out in Ziva's face. She coughed and spluttered as she waved her hands trying to get the smoke away.

"Where do you seek, young one?" the elephant said.

"My bed, so I can get away from this….confusion!"

She pushed the elephant aside and walked into her room.

"These things always come in threes, let's get this over with," she said to herself as she opened her bedroom door.

"Hello Ziva," Tony and McGee said as she walked in the room. They were dressed in white robes, as if they were just out of a hot shower.

"Why are you in my room?" she asked curiously.

"To show you what you are missing out on!" they both said as they stripped off their white robes and revealed what was underneath. They were both in black corsets with pink lace and what looked to be a pink tutu. This, this was it.

"Ok, let me into bed…" she said as McGee stood in front of her.

"Do you know how much shit I've been through?! First I have Kate and Ari having sex in my kitchen, then a fucking purple elephant smoking crack in my face and now you two trying to look sexy in your corsets! It's like you're from a stripper club!"

"But of course Ziva, this is no dream that you can wake up from. This is Wonderland. And you are our Alice," Tony said as he patted the agent on the head.

"So…so this is real?"

"Only if you want it to be…."

**~Review if your still conscious, I am so sorry, this was very weird, maybe slightly over an M but hey ho, it was late~**


	2. Chapter 2

**~So yeah, ended up doing a second chapter. It should explain some things…maybe. This will probably be its last chapter because it was only meant to be a one shot. I've also changed the description and I would love to thank everyone who reviewed with ideas as I have used them **** thanks guys~**

Ziva woke up to a familiar voice. The vision was blurry at first, but then she could clearly tell that Tony DiNozzo was the man standing over her. She started to choke on the thick tube inserted in her mouth. The medical staff removed it and she sat with Tony, her mind quite clear.

"Ziva!" he said.

"Tony, where am I?" she asked.

"The hospital. You were drugged and put into a coma! God you almost died, I was so worried!"

"Who?"

"You don't need to worry about him. He is dead now, killed himself."

"What drug did he use?"

"Why?"

"Tony!"

"Cocaine."

The elephant.

"Was he purple?"

"What? No Ziva. He wore a purple shirt but he was not purple. It was kind of 'floaty'."  
"Were you and McGee there?"

"Yes. He, well, he stripped us naked."

The strippers

"Tony?"

"Yes?"

"I had a dream, or I thought it was a dream. But it wasn't a dream. Do you know what I mean?"

"I can honestly say, no Ziva."  
"Kate and Ari had sex!" she blurted out.

"Right…"

"In my kitchen!"

"Ah! No, no, his name was Kayne, and his girlfriend Ariana had sex with him in the kitchen."

"Ok. Maybe it wasn't a dream then."

"Was it good?"  
"What?"

"Watching me as a stripper?"

_Did I mention that?_ She thought. Dismissing this, she kissed Tony on the cheek, accepting that Wonderland was a place of the imagination. Or was it?

**~Ok, crap ending, but hey, it was only going to be a one shot~**


End file.
